The end of a Year

2010 comes to an end in one day. I cannot believe that a whole year has gone by. It has literally felt like I blinked and it was over. So many things have happened this year. So many emotions and events have taken place in these 365 days.

January was a sad month. Andy's mom, a wonderful, loving and hilarious woman, was very ill. She had been sick for much of the latter part of 2009. On January 27 Virginia Ann passed away. It was a very hard month for Andy and his family and the days since then have been met with a silent sadness. I miss her very much and wish so much that Ann could have met Ava. I will make sure to tell her stories of her Grandma Ann with the huge heart and hilarious sense of humor. I'm glad Ava's daddy has her Grandma's sense of humor.

February was met with birth and new life. One week from Ann's passing my niece, Hazel Jane Anderson was brought into this world. A beautiful magnificent gift.
12 days later I found out I was pregnant. Wha?
That was quite the Valentine's Day gift. Surprise! Who would have ever thought?!
It was a very overwhelming couple of months here at the Dolwick house.

March brought the Michigan Haidle's. It's always so great to see them. I wish we could see them more often than once a year. That trip was met with celebrations and introductions. Kelli certainly has a way with babies...Hazel was as happy as she could be in her Aunt Kelli's arms.

April. I turned 37. Big Whoop. Next.

May. I started my babysitting job with Hazel. This was the beginning of a 3 month period in my life that I will cherish forever. I am so very thankful for those days and the time that I got with just Hazel. It was helpful, educational, magical, hilarious and it made me happy that I could help Katie and Dave. May also brought the end of my working for the next 4 months. I was put on "bed rest" because I have aa short cervix. They thought I might go into premature labor. BWHAAAHAHAHAHA! Whatever.
So that will take care of June, July and August. Not much going on those months. Just spending time with Hazel, progressively getting bigger and bigger and being broke as a joke. (whatever that saying means)

September. Aaaah. The beautiful month of September. Great songs about September. Great people born in September. One in particular...Ava Virginia Dolwick. 9/29/2010. 7.15 lbs. 21 inches. Born at 1:15 on a Tuesday afternoon. Man. What a day that was.
Ouch.

November. MOM MOVED DOWN!!!!! What a great early Christmas present. Mom moved down the week after Thanksgiving. I know it was a hard move for her. She has been with Sam and Kelli for 9 years. It was a very emotional time for all of them but I am so thankful and so happy to have her here. I love love love that Ava will be able to grow up around Grandma and Grampa. It makes my heart smile! Also in November Drew became a teenager. She had her 13th birthday!!!! Scott and Tina came down to see Ava and celebrate with Drew. I can't believe she is 13. She is so mature. She is such a funny girl. She is very witty and very smart.

And now......the end of a year. My baby is 3 months! 3 MONTHS!!!! My darling little niece is going to be 11 months in 2 days! What in tarnation?! Drew is 13! She is a teenager. She has a boyfriend, for like 6 months now?! Christmas was a blast. It was a strange holiday season....it just never felt like Christmas until Christmas Day. We were all sick for most of the month, Andy and I never got a tree, I had to work on Christmas Eve, Drew was sick and none of us spent the night at Katie's. So strange. Babies sure do take up alot of your time. We broke a family record and opened presents until 10:03.... broke the record by 3 minutes. Not really because of all the gifts but because we took about 25 "breaks". Drew was beside herself. She was quite the trooper. She was a pretty patient 13 year old.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I am not working for the first time in 10 years. I'm in unfamiliar territory. I'm not sure what we will do but what ever it is it will be perfect because I will be with the people I love.

This cracks me up!!!

I laugh out loud every time I look at this picture.
I love you my little goofy baby!

my oh my

Hello Ava,
My how you are growing.
You are 6 weeks and 6 days. I Can't believe it. Some days it feels like you just arrived yesterday while other days it feels like you've always been in my life.

Your hair is starting to thin out....much to your mama's dismay.

You are starting to make a few "baby noises" It's nice to hear something other than your hunger screams.

You don't really follow toys let alone focus in on them but you do follow people and faces. You look at us intently when we are talking to you. You watch Drew as she dances around the house.

You seems to love being on your changing table. You smile and coo constantly.

You don't go to "bed" until about 10pm. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to put you down. You still seem to like to be swaddled and in your "positioner". So when I haven't washed your postitioner it is a challenge trying to get you to stay asleep.

I love every single second with you Ava. Every single one of them.

Tonight we went out to dinner with your Aunt Tina, Uncle Scott, your two cousins.. Addey and Koby, Drew and Daddy. Then we walked down 5th Avenue while we ate ice cream. You were mesmerized by all the lights. You just stared at all of them...so content. I love the reactions from people when they see a little baby....It's like they have never seen one before. It's fun to watch them oooh and aaahh over you.

You change so much every day Ava. I'm so glad that I am able to be at home and watch each and every change.

I love you Ava baby.

5 Weeks.

Today you are 5 weeks old.

You are so adorable.
You are awake most of the day now.
You have baby acne.
You smile at the mobile when I play the music.
You eat like a champ.
You weigh 9 lbs 10 oz, your cousin weighed 9 3 oz when she was 2 months (crazy)
You grew one inch and have "exceptional head control and neck strength" Doctor's words.
You like to fall asleep on your daddy's chest. This makes my heart melt.
I love you Ava Virginia.

It's Fall

Well it is Fall here in SWFL. That means nothing to me.
Seriously. There is no crispness in the air. No leaves changing colors. No pumpkin patches that sell apple cider and apple donuts.
Nothin.
It's hot. It's humid and the pumpkins rot.
yay.
I guess I really shouldn't complain. It isn't healthy and there isn't ANYTHING I can do about it. It's where I live. I made the choice to move here. So I guess I should just shut up and learn to "live with it"
......sigh.........

Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond happy that I live here. I wouldn't change that for the world. My family is here and I found my true love here. I gave birth to my daughter here. My adorable niece is here. It's a no brainer to live here. But I REALLY miss the seasons and fall is my absolute favorite season. When I win the lottery I'm going to plan a mass family move up north. A bird pooped on me and Ava today.....apparently that is good luck so I'm going to go buy a lottery ticket tomorrow. ( I hope it's a 24 hour kinda good luck)

Anyway, I guess I get a little cynical when I have friends up north complaining about snow or posting pictures of them and their families at pumpkin patches in sweaters and cups of cider in their hands.
.............again, sigh...........

Drew graduates form high school in 5 years. Maybe by then we will all be ready to move away from the humidity and heat.
A girl can dream can't she? Ava will only be 5. She won't be emotionally devastated if we move away at that age. It's perfect. The 5 year plan.

Just a few more things...

Just a few more things to jot down for you Ava. Although you won't read this for about 20 years...and who knows if this blog will even be available in 20 years I still don't want to forget these things.

You are 3 weeks and 2 days old.

** your sleeping is getting better but your spit up is becoming more and more like your cousins....

** We didn't have your name picked out until the doctor asked what your name was. We didn't know. I told your dad to look at you and see if you looked like an Ava Virginia or an Alison Harper.....he picked the right name.

** We thought you looked like an Eskimo when you were first born. Your eyes were black, black as coal.

** Your daddy sings to you all the time and takes you for walks outside with Daisy

** You dream all the time and when you sleep you make the cutest squeaking noises. you also smile so much while you are sleeping. I know this because I stare at you while you are dreaming away. I can't get over how adorable you are.

** Your sleeping "schedule" is on a regular pace for now. That is you wake up every two hours during the day but you sleep for about 4 hours at a time at night. This is VERY helpful to your mama.

That is about all for now. I can't wait for you to be more "awake" during the day...I think.

I'm tryin'

I know that Ava is only 2 weeks and 3 days old and that patience is a must at this point in time but it is so hard when she has her sleeping schedule is all backwards. She has done very well today at staying awake and I have tried to be diligent in waking her up every two hours...if she happens to be sleeping. Sometimes though she WILL NOT wake up. I don't care what I do. Last night was a bad night. She was up from 11pm till 3. Woke back up at 4, went down at 6 and then slept until 9. I mean, come on! I hoping for a better night tonight. I'm trying very hard to start some sort of "routine" for her. We both need her get a better sleeping schedule.

Things I don't want to forget

Dearest Ava,

Life goes by so quick and so many things happen day to day that I don't want to forget these little things.

*** You had your eyes open 30 seconds after you were born. You gave us all the one-eye when you were about 30 minutes old. You gave us all quite a laugh.


*** you are two weeks old now and when you are "rooting" for some food I sometimes put you up to my face and let you root on my cheek. I like to pretend you are giving your mama kisses.

*** You make the cutest little squeaky noises when you are napping during the day. Which, by the way, you do too much of during the day and not enough at night. Your mama is trying to break you of that habit but you seem to really like your sleep. Taking after your mom on that aspect.

After you were born I ate more for lunch than I think I had in days put together.
* a cheeseburger
* 4 chicken tenders (which your Aunt Katie and Grandma fed to me while I was being put back together)
* 4 cookies
* 2 ginger ales
* 2 cups of ice chips
* 3 jugs of water
* bag of potato chips
* half a subway sandwich
* Turkey dinner (Poor Andy ordered it for himself and I ended up eating it all)
* dried apricots
The list goes on and on. I was hungry.

*** You had to be taken to the nursery for an x-ray an hour or so after you were born because you were having some trouble with your respiration. You were gone for about 30 minutes. Your dad and I tried not to worry but it was impossible not to. Turns out you just had some fluid left in your lungs and it just needed to be reabsorbed into your body.

*** I love love love your little bow shaped lips and your head full of beautiful brown hair with highlights...

Today was your first visit to the church. Everyone just ooo-ed and aahhed over you. Can you blame em?

You are a good baby, you only cry when you are hungry and then you scream more than you do cry....sometime you even screech.

I love you more than you will ever know Ava. Now I get it, now I get the strength of a mother's love.
I love you mom and am so thankful for you and your love.

A day to remember

It was Monday September 27th. We had just finished having dinner with everyone at Outback. Andy and I were driving to Physicians Regional Hospital so I could check in to be induced for labor and I was starting to get nervous. The kind of nerves that I used to get when I was little right before I went on stage for a ballet performance. My body all filled with excitement and wracked with nerves. All eyes were going to be on me. This was MY big moment. This was it.
We checked in and got settled. At about 9 pm they gave me the cervadil which was meant to help soften my cervix and hopefully urge my body to go into labor on it's own. That was not the case. Something in the cervadil was causing the baby's heartbeat to act erratically. They gave me oxygen and told me to lay on my side.

Then the other side, then my back. Nothing seemed to work. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Thankfully 2 1/2 hours later they took it out with the hopes that I would go into labor on my own. If I didn't by 5 am they would start the real stuff and hook me up to the Pitocin.
I really was hoping that I would go into labor on my own. I mean after all, I had been on "bed rest" for the past 5 months because I had a short cervix and could go into pre-term labor. HA! So much for that theory.
By midnight my contractions started to come. They were painful but manageable. Needless to say by 5 am it was obvious I needed a little help, so in went the I.V. of Pitocin.
After that the contractions started to get unbearable. Nothing seemed to help. I just kept waiting for my water to break. For something to happen. Something other that the INTENSE pressure and pain I was feeling.

This didn't help.
By 7 am nothing had happened so the doctor broke my water. What a weird feeling. Katie and Mom had shown up by then and I had Katie, mom and Andy all trying to figure out the best way to keep me comfortable. I can't even express how much that meant to me. I was in crippling pain and just couldn't think by then. The contractions had intensified so much that it was taking everything out of me just to get through them.
Katie brought me ice chips, butterscotch candies, tied my hair back into pony tails or took it out, put chap stick on my lips. She was amazing.

Andy rubbed my back, wiped my face with a cold rag, held my hand and never left my side.
ANd just having my mom there was so important to me, even if she hung out behind the curtain the whole time of the delivery ( I can't blame her though, from the stories I would have too)


From 7am till about noon I was in agony. Not to mention EXHAUSTED. I hadn't slept the night before so I was running on no sleep and no food and I was having contractions about every minute or two apart. It felt like I had no break. At one point I looked at Andy and said I couldn't do it anymore. It was getting to be too much. So I asked to nurse to kindly take the pain away. She had the bright idea to check me to see how far along I was. I was 8 cm. She said, " you're at 8 , you've gone this far. It won't be much longer now" HA!!!! man do they know how to stretch the truth.
Anyway, I took her advice and stuck it out. In retrospect I am glad I did. My delivery was so difficult that I think if I had gotten the epidural me and the baby would have been in big trouble. I had a hard enough time pushing when I could feel something. I probably would have fallen asleep if all of a sudden the pain went away.

I won't go into details about the labor but lets just say that on Ava's hospital records it says that she had a "difficult transition" and mom and Katie had anxiety that night because the images kept replaying in their head. ANdy even had to look away at one point. Ava's shoulders got stuck in my little hips. But aside from all the pain, exhaustion, and momentary concern Ava Virginia Dolwick was born at 1:15pm on Tuesday September 28th.

At some point I will write all the little stories and memories of that day. I will write it for you Ava.
It was the hardest thing I have ever put myself through. I was spent of everything I had but every time I look at this little angel I don't even remember the pain. All I see is love. All I feel is love and joy.

My world has has changed

Dear Ava,
You have changed my world.
You have made me feel something I never thought I would.
I look at you when you are sleeping (which today has been ALL DAY) and my
heart aches. I love you so much I'm not even sure how to describe it.
You are only 1 week and 3 days old and you amaze me everyday.
I am thankful you have come into my world and changed it forever.

Almost There....

It's Sunday afternoon and Andy and I are spending the day together as just the two of us before the fourth addition to our family arrives.
We check into the Women's Center tomorrow night at 7pm to begin the pregnancy induction process. By Tuesday afternoon, if all goes well, we will have our little monkey live and in person.

It's so surreal. I am amazed that I have not gone into labor yet. With all the "short cervix, take it easy" mantra these past 5 months I was sure I would go into labor early and on my own. Go figure. You just can't plan these things at all. I'm so excited and so nervous. I'm going to be a mom. It's so strange. But in a good way. :)

We are hoping to go down to the beach this evening to take some one last time belly pictures. I hope the weather holds up. The baby room/bedroom is all finished. We are as ready as we can be. Now all we need is the little one to come and join us.

paint stinks.

Paint really stinks.







Glad I'm not in that room. But thankfully Andy, my dad and Drew are trukin' along. I'm very thankful and very lucky to have my fabulous family.

11 Days

I have 11 days to go.

11.

The baby is still moving around in it's tight living quarters. I went to the doctor last week and I am still just 1 cm. I weigh 138.5. Now instead of everyone telling me to "take it easy" and stay off my feet, I'm being told to "get up and walk". I've had 4 months of relaxing, I don't really want to get up and walk now. I feel heavy and my feet hurt. Waa. Waa. Waa.

Anyway, Today was busy day at the Dolwick household. Andy got the computer desk up and running. All wires hidden like a pro.

Living room all set up. CHECK.
Stroller put together. CHECK.
Highchair up and ready. CHECK.

We are painting the bedroom tomorrow and then the crib will go in. We're painting it "Dream Catcher" Blue. It's almost white....I like it though. I hope it looks good on the walls.
Things are moving fast now. It's so crazy. This little baby will be out in the world before we know it. It's getting to the point now where if I call my mom or Katie they automatically ask "Is it time to go to the hospital". I will welcome that day. I am nervous to be a mom but my body is so ready to start getting back to normal.

Andy and I had a great day today. It was productive and it nice to spend time with him. He works so much and so hard that I cherish these days together.
Drew came over after a day with Makayla. SHe is at the age now where she spends most of her time in her room, on the phone with the door closed. I thought that stage came so much later in life. It's true what they say....they grow up so fast.
She got her Halloween costume tonight too. She's gonna be "Robin-da-Hood". hmm. Andy and I weren't too sure about it at first. She put it on for us and she looked really cute. You never know with these costumes these days...they are all so "sexy". Sexy lady bug, Boxer Babe, Sexy Cleopatra. It's ridiculous. But Drew's costume was very cute and looked nothing like the boobalicious woman on the picture of the package. PHEW!

Andy and I are still working on names for the baby. We are pretty set on a boy name but the girl name is proving to be more of a difficult task than I thought. We probably won't pick one until the baby is born.

September

It's September.
I can't believe it is September already. I am now down to 24 days until the projected due date.
HOLY COW! 24 days. Say it with me. Twenty four days. That's nothing. I will say I'm ready. There are still a few things left to do to prepare. Like take the car seat out of the box. That could be helpful. I do, however, have the changing pad ready to go...so I'm all ready for those kazillion diapers.

Although I am "ready" I have given this baby specific instructions to at least not come until the 17th of Sept. That is when Grandma arrives. It is getting tight in there for him/her which makes for a very uncomfortable mama. The ultrasound tech wasn't kidding when she said I would feel EVERYTHING.

September is filled with many activities.
1. Hazel's 7 month birthday

2. Mom is coming down

3. Dave's parents are coming for a visit.

4. Dad went to Canada

5. Ann's birthday is Sept. 13

6. Jay Bird's birthday is the 18th

7. Leeann's birthday is the 24th

8. Kelli's birthday is the 29th

9. Hazel got her first cold

10. Hazel FINALLY said "mama"

11. And I just ate a whole 24.5 oz jar of Mandarin Oranges. (and now my "geographical tongue" is mapping the entire world.

12. Oh yea... tomorrow is Labor Day. Andy and I are going to be "laboring" around the house.

Tuesday

Today is a busy day. Safelite is here to install a new windshield on my "new" used car. Something I probably should have gotten fixed before I signed the contract but I was a little too gun-ho about having a car that I just brushed it off. Andy was just shaking his head in defeat. He knew ( and verbalized) that I shouldn't pay anything until I had them replace the windshield but again I was too sick and tired of not having a car. I should have listened to Andy...would have been one less thing to worry about. :)

Mike the Maytag man is making his 4th visit to my house in the last couple of months to replace the same part on my washer that is only 8 months old. So much for the Maytag man sitting around eatin bon bons....not when we now have mandatory "Energy Efficient" appliances. Where all the little energy saving electronics are so sensitive that they break if you breath on them. I'm just going to get all the work orders from him and return it for a non-energy saving machine. Cause this no washer thing for weeks at a time isn't saving me jack.

Andy is going to finish sanding the floor today...damn tile. What a pain in the RUMP. I can't do anything to help and I hate that feeling. It's so, well, useless. I'm excited for the floors to go in...I think it's going to look awesome. :)

Once the washer is fixed I have 8,000 loads of laundry to do, clean out the fridge....and I mean CLEAN.... dust, read, eat and maybe take a nap. See, I told you it was a busy day today.

ho-hum

This is me doing what I do best these days...trying to catch my breath.

well, It's 10:18 on Sunday night. Our T.V. is in the kitchen and our living room is having some naked time. All the carpet is ripped up waiting for our hardwood floors. We had a bit of a tile removal set back. Oh well...It is what it is. So, I'm in the bedroom not really wanting to get into bed since sleep is just not as enjoyable as it used to be. So why not play on the computer for a few hours until I start seeing double...that is when I know I am tired enough to just pass out and not realize how uncomfortable I am.
Ahhh...pregnancy.
Let's see, what can I write about. I have written the past 3 days so I am pretty much out of ideas.
Well, I'm thankful that tomorrow is Monday cause that means I can go to the chiropractor. My back is killing me and I need her to "manipulate" every bone in my spine so I can feel amazing for a day.

Hazel starts "school" tomorrow. I babysat for her tonight which was fun cause I got to give her a bath. :) I think her parents are going to be more upset about it than she will. I love feeding her solid foods....it's so fun and I love the way it feels when she is asleep on your shoulder. I just love love love her.

I think there are 18 mosquito's in the house.
I think my purse weighs about 25 pounds and I can't figure out why.

It's now time for the baby's 10:30 dance routine....yowza!
Man. I'm bored.
Guess I'll go read.

Some things I WON'T miss

Here is a list of a few things I won't miss about being pregnant..

1. Heartburn/Acid reflux. WILL NOT miss it.

2. Huffing and puffing rather than breathing like a normal person. (I'm sitting down and can't even catch my breath)

3. A perpetual stuffy nose.

4. Gums that bleed if I stare at them too long.

5. My resentment for people who can sleep on their stomach. Or back. Or those who don't have to wake up, sit up and do a 10 point grunting turn to flip sides.

6. Not being able to do anything.

7. The very weird sensation down the front of my legs that feels like the baby is moving it's hand down my hip joint and into my thigh. VERY WEIRD.

8. The baby's hiccups. It was very cool at first, now...not so much.

9. I would like to have my appetite back.

10. Peeing every hour on the hour. It's getting old. And I'm killing trees right and left with all the toilet paper I use.

Anyway....Those are just a few things of pregnancy that I DON'T like. I know I grunt and gasp and moan when ever the baby moves now but I will miss this very personal, strange bond we have. Right now it is just the baby and me...I literally feel it's every move. I am SOOOOO looking forward to feeling "normal again" but in a secret way I will miss feeling him/her inside my belly. As ready as I am, the baby can't come for at least another 3 weeks anyway. Too many people going out of town. Just a little bit longer there monkey and then you can come out of your tight living arrangement and join us all in the world.

Big Changes

Well....It is a sad sad day. Today was my OFFICIAL last day with my Hazel. I was granted two extra days this week to take care of her before her days at day care begin.

I was very thankful for those two days. She was so happy and chatty. I love it when she is all smiles for you all day. I don't care how much she spits up...it's totally worth it. Today she had perfect aim and threw up right down the front of my shirt. Didn't even get it on herself. It was a nice, warm, gooey, prune juicy farewell present.

I'm going to miss her and my time spent with her so much. I'm going to miss all the changes that she will be experiencing while she is away at daycare. But I am so very thankful to have been able to spend the time with her that I have. I will hold it very dear to my heart and Hazel has a very special place in her Aunt Alison's life.

I think I might start to cry....
Let's move on to some other changes..
Andy has just removed the last of the base boards in our living room and has started taking up the tile that was by our front door. Tomorrow he is installing hardwood floors.
YAY!
We painted the Walls "Moonlite Yellow" and it is so cheery and happy. I love it. We are getting the house ready and making room for the 4th member of our family. Frijole.
Speaking of Frijole...time is ticking away fast. I am going to the doctor once a week now. Starting next week she is going to be checking my cervix to "see if anything is happening" That is when you know it's getting close. I'm not exactly "ready" but my body would disagree vehemently with me. I have reached new levels of discomfort. I could list my complaints but I will save that for another day. And I don't think people really care about my whining. I try really hard not to complain about the same thing day after day and I try to keep my moaning and groaning to myself.

Other big changes.....Drew is in 7th grade now. She will be 13 in November. She was in 4th grade when I met her. She was an actual "little girl". Not anymore...her looks have matured so much in just one year. I don't remember changes being that drastic when I was 12 going on 13. But then again I didn't have the perspective my parents did. At least Andy and I are still "cool" in her eyes. I try not to be a fuddy-duddy but sometimes I can't help it. At least I still get a hug, a kiss and an I love you when I drop her off at school.

There are many things going on this year....and many things that have already happened. 2010 has been a year of life changes of all shapes and sizes.
And there are many more to come.....

My last week.....sniff sniff.

So this is what it feels like when your kids go off to college. Sad thing is .....we aren't even talking about my own child and she's only going to daycare 10 minutes away.

sniff. sniff.

But still, starting tomorrow it is my LAST 4 days of time with Hazel before her parents ship her off to scary school with Miss Marcia and who know what germs. (just kidding guys) I can't believe how quickly this time has passed. August seemed like years away when I had my first day with Hazel back in May. MAY?! The day when she screamed literally all day and I began to wonder how in the world I was ever going to make it till August, not to mention a life time with my baby. But Hazel and I got to know each other. Her Aunt Alison figured out her noises and now we are the best of friends. I hope it stays that way. I will miss seeing all the new changes that Hazel will be going through. (Sigh) sniff. sniff. I will miss her terribly when she goes to daycare but now we are getting down to the wire with my baby and I need to start getting ready for Frijole.

Oh Hazel, You have changed so much in just 6 months.



You couldn't even sit up on your own yet.... and LOOK AT YOUR HAIR!


You were so good at your Christening....


Just starting to use your elbows to prop your little self up...



Now your feet touch in the jumperoo
and you suck on your toes too...


I love you Hazel Jane and love when you rest on your cousin......

Gettin ready

Dear Baby,
We are all getting ready for you.

Grandma is getting herself ready to move back down to Naples to be with your cousin and you. Mama is very excited to have Grandma here.

Daddy is getting ready by doing many, many chores around the house so we can fit all your cool stuff. He can't wait to see you!!!

Hazel is even getting ready too. Sometimes when she sits on the floor with me she will grab my belly and scream at you. She's talkin baby talk to you. I guess she is saying hi and giving you a little head's up on what to expect. What a great cousin.

Grandpa has been helping mama get ready for you. You have a very wonderful and special grandpa and he is so excited to meet you.

We all are Baby. We are all so excited to meet you. Your Aunt Katie can't wait to hold a newborn again and your Uncle Dave talks to you all the time.

You are so loved already. I can't wait to see you and hold you but you aren't done cooking yet so you stay warm and cozy in there for about another month!

I love you little monkey,

your mama

TOO MUCH!

There is too much going on in my little brain. There is too much filling the cavity of my mid-section. There is too much humidity in the air. There is too much laundry to do. There is too much heartburn going on my in esophagus. Much too much!
Me-oh-my. What's a girl to do.
Deal with it I guess.

Anyway.... Katie, Hazel and I went to Target and Babies 'R' Us yesterday to do some returns and new purchases. It was a fun day. Aside from spitting up everywhere Hazel did great. She wasn't fussy for one moment during our adventure. I guess there was enough for her to look at she didn't have time to get bored. She is as cute as she can be! I found out yesterday that my last week with Hazel before she goes off to school is being ROBBED by her mother! Geeze! The nerve. I will miss my days with her so much. What if she starts to cry when I hold her? I can't have that!!! I can't let her forget her favorite Aunt in the world.

Baby in my belly is running out of room! Last night Andy said we should give the baby the nickname of Frijole since is moves around like a Mexican jumping bean. I thought that was pretty funny. Frijole now weighs 4lbs 7 oz and I'm half way done with my 33rd week. i have no new symptoms....THANKFULLY! heartburn....CHECK. Tight uncomfortable belly....CHECK. Peeing 50 thousand times a day...CHECK. Crazy karate chops and yoga moves from Frijole...CHECK! All is in order here with the preggo mama! I am getting the Braxton Hicks contractions a little more often now a days and I am SUPER DUPER UBER tired. I guess I can't complain too much though....others have had it worse. (sorry little one)

Things are moving quickly and I need to catch up to the pace of it all. Mom moves down soon...YAY! (but don't stress or rush yourself mom!!!)

Frijole will be in our lives soon. Very soon!

Hazel is going to school for PETE'S SAKE!!! She sits up on her own and is drinking water out of a sippy cup!




It's all a whirlwind and I don't want to miss one second of it!!!

8 months and counting...

Doctor visit today. I now weigh 132.5 and the baby weighs 4lbs 7 oz. The ultra sound tech said it was a perfect baby. What can I say? I breed perfection. Perfection with a crazy full head of hair.
We tried to get a 4D picture of it's face but all we could get were images that looked like a very scary Halloween monster.

Not what Andy and I were expecting.

Baby is kicking my ribs now. Super comfortable and I think it is tyring to stretch my skin so it has more room. Last night was ridiculous. It felt like it was trying to find another way out. It was doing some exploratory searching. Ya know, maybe it missed something. It made for a very difficult night's sleep. Anyway.... I sleep when I can. Something I guess I have to get used to.

There is only 55 more days until go time. 55 days to get ready for this little monkey. I can't wait. :)

68 days to go

68 days. 68 days and I will have my jabbing, kicking, somersaulting cuddle bug in my arms. So crazy. So amazingly crazy.
My belly is measuring 30 in. I weigh 129.5. And I still feel like the skin on my belly is going to split.

I know pregnancy is filled with individual idiosyncrasies. What is true for one woman is not always true for the next. Some women LOVE being pregnant. (i still think they have a slight chemical imbalance) I think some women are built to endure pregnancy better than others. There is an outline.. a guide of "milestones" that inform you of what you should be going through at any given time. I know that I have it pretty good. As uncomfortable I may be, I know in the grand scheme of being pregnant; I've got it pretty good.

I don't have the swelling that my poor sister had to endure. As she likes to point out, I can still wear my flip flops. My toes are still toes and haven't turned into sausages. I have gained 26.5 pounds and I am 30 weeks...I know that is good. However, I do have obnoxious heartburn. At all times of the day.
It feels good to sit up straight which is turning out to be a good thing for my posture. I can feel movement in my pubic symphysis...the piece of cartilage that connects the two hip bones together. It is a highly strange and uncomfortable twinge of a pain. But apparently normal. It's all a guessing game. You just don't know what symptoms you are going to experience. I guess that is half the fun.

HA! Half the fun. Whatever.

Anyway. I am so excited to meet this child. Excited to see what it looks like. Excited to figure out it's idiosyncrasies. I'm super nervous but I'm ready...emotionally... for this. I'm excited and anxious all at the same time.

Oh yea. I decided not to have an epidural. It's like $1500. No thanks. Even with the 62% discount. It's a bill I'll be paying off for MONTHS, okay, YEARS to come. SO....I decided to endure the pain for one day rather than years.

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. (sweat is starting to bead on my forehead already) I apologize in advance to anyone who might be in the delivery room for any nasty remark I might make. It's just the pain talkin'!

Week 29

My belly is big and the baby is an acrobat, or dancer or a black belt. It is also a night owl....starting it's nightly dance routine around 10pm. Andy likes to say it is doing it's karate cause apparently boys don't do dance routines. (Andy says it a boy)

All is well with the health though...no cramps. You know what that means to me...
No cramps = no money. :) Oh well....

On a lighter note....I have a crack in my windshield from top to bottom. Cool.

Maybe I should come back when I am not in such a gripey mood.

I go to the doctor next week and then I should have another ultrasound the following week to check on my cervix. Then maybe the doctor will give the ok to go back to work to I can make $70 a week. Yay.

She is pleased with the fact that it has not changed in size...meaning it has not gotten shorter. That is a good thing. So we shall see what happens in a couple of weeks.
Our shower is in a couple of weeks and that means I get to see mom!!!! YAY!!!! I am very excited to see mom. I wish she could stay longer but I will take what I can get.

Week 27.

Well..I'm on week 27 out of the 40 week epic journey of creating a human.

I'm growing a human being. A real live honest to God person.

It is the most amazing, beautiful, craziest thing I have ever done. It is an absolute WONDER to me how amazing the human body is. It's one thing to feel strange movements in your belly area and go "Oh...the baby is moving" but to really sit and think about what you just said...It's nothing short of a miracle. Totally crazy but a miracle.

I LOVE the idea of being a mom. I LOVE to day dream about what this little child will look like, sound like, act like. I never knew if I would ever be a mom, if I was ready for that change or if it would ever even happen. I am 37, ya know, these aren't farm fresh eggs anymore people. But now that there is a person growing in my belly that is half me and half the man I love, I can't imagine NOT being a mom. Being with Hazel through these early stages of her life just makes me so excited to go through them with my child. The love that is literally tangible between Katie and her little Hazel is intoxicating. I love to see that. I want to give my little critter all the love and strength that I didn't even know I was capable of. Only 90 days to go.....

woa.

Now...I have to be honest and admit that I am not a fan of being pregnant. No. Not really.
Can we talk about the heartburn. The heartburn that has reached an all time high of annoyance and discomfort. Or the feeling that if I stretch too far my belly might detach from my body. How bout the fact that I can't sleep at all cause I have a basketball duct taped to my mid-section. It's a pain in my arse ordeal just to turn sides in the middle of the night. I really love the fact that I can eat ONE grape and feel like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner. When I say to people that I "feel full" they just look at me like I'm a pathetic retard. Maybe cause I say it with such disgust. But they just don't understand the feeling of wanting to unbutton and unzip your belly. Now I know all you mom's out there say..I know, I know....but that isn't really comforting. But what else are they gonna say. "It sucks doesn't it?" or "hahahahaha better you than me" No. I don't think so. I know I'll say the same thing when ever that time comes. But right now, It's my time to complain!

ok.. That is out of my system. Phew!

All is well with the rest of the family. I so love being close to everyone. I may not be a big fan of Florida but I love my family to pieces.

Rain

I used to hate it when it rained and thunder used to scare me when I was little. But now...I LOVE it. I love the way it smells when it rains. The sound of thunder is a beautiful sound of nature. Maybe I love it so much more now because in the summer in SWFL it is too stinking hot not to welcome a good soak from Mother Nature. When I look outside though I feel like it should be cold. Like I should have to put on a coat when I go outside. It's really disappointing when the realization that is is 100% humidity and 95 degrees outside. Andy and I were looking at real estate in North Carolina (just for fun mind you) and I think that was a bad idea. Don't get me wrong...I love living here because this is where I grew up and this is where my family is. But if I could transplant the WHOLE family to a place where we could enjoy the seasons...I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Now Poe...Poe feels much differently than I do. Poor Posey. She starts hyperventilating and pacing. Shaking and panting. Too bad Ceasar Milan only takes cases in California. Listen here Poe...I have calm energy about thunder storms so why aren't you reading that about me. Come on Poe. I won't encourage your behavior and I'll just ignore you as you shake and pant and drool all over the place.

Dog days of Pregnancy

Today is an uncomfortable day. Ranging from about 8-10. It started off ok and then I think I ate tooo much BBQ and it's been down hill from there. Trinity launched it's First Annual Fishing Tournament today and Dad, Andy, Dave, Burt Warner and his son all were in a boat. They won the Rubber Boot award for catching the strangest fish...a lizard fish and a sting ray. Katie, Drew, Hazel and I met them all afterwards for the awards ceremony and lunch. It was a crazy good BBQ buffet and I piled it on my plate. And it was good. It was a fun day and I am glad that Dad, Andy and Dave were able to spend some time together but man....I feel like this child is going to explode out through my belly button. It's awful. uugh.

Andy and Drew just left to go pick up one of her friends and then head down to the beach and maybe walk around and I had to pass...As much as I don't like the beach I love spending time with them and would have loved to go but baby says "no way mama, not today, I'm gonna keep kickin until you sit your butt down on that couch." I don't how long they will be down there since it looks like the heavens are about to dump a heavy rain storm on us.

Anyway...Maybe a donut will help me get through the day. :)

Today....I register

Today a caravan is heading up to Babies'R'Us to register for the little booger doing gymnastic routines and lighting off fireworks in my belly. It is a little surreal that we are going to pick out stuff for "MY" baby. Not somebody else's. I went up there the other day while Andy was at a hockey game. I figured I'd get a head start. Yea. Whatever. The only thing I really know I want now is the bedding....crickets. SOOOOO cute. But that is it and that was EASY. A no-brainer.
Everything else....that's a different story. The whole stroller issue just makes me break out in hives. I don't understand why it is so confusing. Why there has to be soooo many. We would like a jogging stroller. Ya know, cause I'm such an avid jogger. But seriously, I've heard that they are a little easier to maneuver (if you don't get a "true" jogging stroller and get one with a swiveling front wheel) I don't know. I just don't know. But when I went to the store they only had 3. Three. 1.2.3. Online they have like 8 pages worth. What am I supposed to do with that.

Anyway... That is why I am taking my team. Katie,Andy and Drew. I'm not too sure if Drew will really care which stroller I get but at least Katie has been through it and Andy has too...not to mention he is a very hands-on shopper. I think I will leave the stroller issue till the end. I'm excited to register though. Baby stuff is so fun. It's not like registering for a wedding. You don't really get too excited about a serving piece or a plate with delicate flowers on it, but cute adorable bedding with crickets on it and a fun play mat. Hell yeah! And I start to think about the little baby who will be sleeping in that bedding or learning to grab things in that play mat and it makes it even more exciting.

The house in coming along. Not at a rapid pace by any means but things are happening and starting to get organized. We are having a yard sale at the end of the month which will clear out alot of space. Nothing like the last minute huh? Well, that's my motto. Why do it early when you can be frantic and do it last minute? Except for my taxes. Those are always done in January.

It's June.

It's June. 2010 Where in the WORLD does the time go?

Drew is going to "graduate" from 6th grade. What? She wears make-up and has boyfriends. She sleeps with her phone and says things like.."yea, I had a CRAZY year this year.' What? She's 12. I've only been a part of Drew's life for 3 years and this is a big adjustment for me. I can't imagine how Andy feels. I take Drew to school about once a week. In the beginning of the school year she WANTED me to get out and walk with her to her class room, hang out and then I got a big hug, a kiss and an I love you. Then it went to.."you can just drop me off" but I still got the hug. Now...as she approaches her last days as a 6th grader ...it's a quick out the door with a "bye, Guda, love you!" It's true what they say....they do grow up fast. At least I get a "love you"

Hazel is, well, just plain adorable. Stinking awesome. She is growing too....despite she is not getting any plumper but she is growing out of clothes. She is learning to use her hand to grab things to bring them to her Little open mouth so she can suck on anything and everything. She is learning to use her vocal cords very well some days. I love more than anything the time I get to spend with her. It is so special to me. I love her big goofy smiles and her sounds. I love how she laughs and sometimes when she is eating she has her hands clutched so tight together she looks like she if praying. It is an amazing thing to watch my sister with her daughter. Hazel lights up when she sees Katie. Her smile is priceless. I guess I could say the same about Katie.

As for me...well my belly is getting larger by the second. Some days it feels like the skin in literally going to peel back. It is NOT comfortable. Now, I have to say that I am very excited and have never felt such peaceful anticipation for the unknown, but I am not getting the euphoria that some women talk about when they are pregnant. I am for the most part UNCOMFORTABLE all the time. I think these women who talk about how great the actual process of being pregnant is haven't been pregnant in a VERY LONG time. I actually want to scrub my tub...but I can't cause I, well, just can't. I might pass out from lack of oxygen. I want to put my shoes on like a normal person.
Anyway.....I can't wait to meet this child and start our little family. Time goes by so fast. I try to enjoy every day for what it is. Good or bad cause this is it. There is no point in wallowing in the past (if wallowing really is a word) I love my life. I love everything about it...all the good and all the bad cause every bit of it has made me who I am today and brought me right where I'm supposed to be.

I have a short cervix

Yesterday I went to another ultrasound to get some better pictures of the little baby's heart. I was having some pretty uncomfortable cramping that day and when I told the ultrasound tech, Donna, she said "that concerns me". Great. Basically, due to the Leap surgery I had about 12 years ago to remove some tissue on my cervix, I now have a shortened cervix. The pain I was feeling is the baby pushing on the cervix. So now, my doctor says that I can't work for 3 weeks. She wants me off my feet so as not to aggravate my cervix anymore. The weight and stimulation of "activity" can cause the cervix to begin to efface early and possibly begin to dilate. We don't want that. We want the baby to be fully grown before is decides to come out. Baby is about 1.2 lbs. That is too too tiny to come into the world just yet.
It's a slight cause for stress. One, I don't want to do anything to cause a premature delivery. Two, I don't have any money as it is and now the small contribution that I did get from Pazzo's is now gone. yikes. Place brown paper bag to mouth and begin to hyperventilate.
AND....I haven't heard back from Medicaid (too soon) AND I don't have insurance. AND my doctor set me up on a payment plan for the cost of the delivery...which actually is a good deal but since my prenatal care began a little later than most, my payments are higher. So, I was told in one day that I couldn't work but you have to pay us $900 a month. ok. Sure. No problem.
Anyway.... Baby is doing great. He/she has SUPER long legs. It takes after it's daddy. It is so cool to see it. I can't wait to meet her or him. It's only a matter of months now. And it may be sooner than expected. Baby weighs about 1.2lbs....according to what I have read that weight would put the baby at about 24 weeks...or else I am going to have a BIG baby. I'm going with the first theory that my original due date is off. It wouldn't surprise me too...I'm not exactly sure about the date of the end of my last period. That was all the way back in December. Geeze.
So now it is looking like the middle of September. HOLY MOLEY!!!!! I guess I better get a move on with the preparations. :)

It's February and it's still cold

February is here and I have been wearing sweaters and jackets since December. Now, don't think I'm complaining...I'm not. I'm quite happy but just not prepared for it. Half of my "winter wardrobe" is packed away in a pod at the Flinn Records and Storage Company. When I moved all my things from Katie's I figured I would only need a few warm things to last me the few weeks of really cold weather. Naturally this year would be one of the coldest and longest SWFL has seen in many many years. Figures.
Well, aside from all the chilly weather my time is filled with school, work and trying to commandeer as much baby time as I can with my new little niece. That is proving to be quite hard with out a car. Hazel seems to be at her best in the mornings....and I manage to make my way over in the afternoon when she is crying her poor little heart out. It's just so sad it breaks your heart. All I want to do is hold her but I try not to be too pushy so as not to take away from Katie and Dave. I don't want to invade their space too much so I try and not go over there all the time...but like I said...I can't really go over there all the time anyway because I don't have a car. Fun times.
Speaking of fun times.... Hazel is the sweetest thing I have ever laid eyes on. She is so precious and I love watching Katie and Dave with her. I miss her terribly. Who knew I would miss someone so much who doesn't really even know who I am. I wish I could go over there everyday and see her all the time. I was so excited when Katie called to ask if I wanted my first babysitting job. Katie is getting her hair cut on Monday so that means I get Hazel ALL TO MYSELF for about an hour. I don't care if she screams her cute little turtle head off for that hour at least I will be the only one there to hold her. :) I'm thankful that I live here in Naples so close to Katie during this time and so thankful for the relationship that we have as sisters.
So...that is about it. Everything else going on isn't quite as adorable as Hazel....aside from Andy. Everything in our relationship is as it should be...wonderful. He is the other thing I am thankful for. I'm glad Katie kept the pressure on for me to move back to Naples...otherwise we may have never had the chance to meet up again. That would have been a tragedy.
School, is well, school. Microbiology sucks and so does the teacher who is attemping to teach it. I had a "program interview" for the dental program last Friday....which I was so grossly unprepared for it was borderline comical. To put it lightly, I botched it. Grace under pressure...I am not. Let's just hope that they don't really base much on the interview part. Lord I hope not. If two of the professors say to you (after you have already answered the question) "Would you like me to read the question again?" You are safe to assume that you screwed up. Maybe they will take pitty on me since my face was slowing turing a deep shade of crimson and my voice took on this deep raspy tone, like I had a cold or something. I just wanted to get up and start running. At one point I started laughing cause I just couldn't believe some of the idiodic things that were coming out of my mouth. Maybe it is interviews like mine that prompted the program to add 'Intro to Speech' into their course requirements. Good Lord.
And yes....I'm still looking for a car because the Alero took a big coolant crap on me and died. But the car thing is so frustrating I don't even want to talk about it and I don't know how car salesmen can sleep at night.
Anyway....that is about it in a nut shell.