Well it is Fall here in SWFL. That means nothing to me.
Seriously. There is no crispness in the air. No leaves changing colors. No pumpkin patches that sell apple cider and apple donuts.
Nothin.
It's hot. It's humid and the pumpkins rot.
yay.
I guess I really shouldn't complain. It isn't healthy and there isn't ANYTHING I can do about it. It's where I live. I made the choice to move here. So I guess I should just shut up and learn to "live with it"
......sigh.........
Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond happy that I live here. I wouldn't change that for the world. My family is here and I found my true love here. I gave birth to my daughter here. My adorable niece is here. It's a no brainer to live here. But I REALLY miss the seasons and fall is my absolute favorite season. When I win the lottery I'm going to plan a mass family move up north. A bird pooped on me and Ava today.....apparently that is good luck so I'm going to go buy a lottery ticket tomorrow. ( I hope it's a 24 hour kinda good luck)
Anyway, I guess I get a little cynical when I have friends up north complaining about snow or posting pictures of them and their families at pumpkin patches in sweaters and cups of cider in their hands.
.............again, sigh...........
Drew graduates form high school in 5 years. Maybe by then we will all be ready to move away from the humidity and heat.
A girl can dream can't she? Ava will only be 5. She won't be emotionally devastated if we move away at that age. It's perfect. The 5 year plan.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Just a few more things...
Just a few more things to jot down for you Ava. Although you won't read this for about 20 years...and who knows if this blog will even be available in 20 years I still don't want to forget these things.
You are 3 weeks and 2 days old.
** your sleeping is getting better but your spit up is becoming more and more like your cousins....
** We didn't have your name picked out until the doctor asked what your name was. We didn't know. I told your dad to look at you and see if you looked like an Ava Virginia or an Alison Harper.....he picked the right name.
** We thought you looked like an Eskimo when you were first born. Your eyes were black, black as coal.
** Your daddy sings to you all the time and takes you for walks outside with Daisy
** You dream all the time and when you sleep you make the cutest squeaking noises. you also smile so much while you are sleeping. I know this because I stare at you while you are dreaming away. I can't get over how adorable you are.
** Your sleeping "schedule" is on a regular pace for now. That is you wake up every two hours during the day but you sleep for about 4 hours at a time at night. This is VERY helpful to your mama.
That is about all for now. I can't wait for you to be more "awake" during the day...I think.
You are 3 weeks and 2 days old.
** your sleeping is getting better but your spit up is becoming more and more like your cousins....
** We didn't have your name picked out until the doctor asked what your name was. We didn't know. I told your dad to look at you and see if you looked like an Ava Virginia or an Alison Harper.....he picked the right name.
** We thought you looked like an Eskimo when you were first born. Your eyes were black, black as coal.
** Your daddy sings to you all the time and takes you for walks outside with Daisy
** You dream all the time and when you sleep you make the cutest squeaking noises. you also smile so much while you are sleeping. I know this because I stare at you while you are dreaming away. I can't get over how adorable you are.
** Your sleeping "schedule" is on a regular pace for now. That is you wake up every two hours during the day but you sleep for about 4 hours at a time at night. This is VERY helpful to your mama.
That is about all for now. I can't wait for you to be more "awake" during the day...I think.
Friday, October 15, 2010
I'm tryin'
I know that Ava is only 2 weeks and 3 days old and that patience is a must at this point in time but it is so hard when she has her sleeping schedule is all backwards. She has done very well today at staying awake and I have tried to be diligent in waking her up every two hours...if she happens to be sleeping. Sometimes though she WILL NOT wake up. I don't care what I do. Last night was a bad night. She was up from 11pm till 3. Woke back up at 4, went down at 6 and then slept until 9. I mean, come on! I hoping for a better night tonight. I'm trying very hard to start some sort of "routine" for her. We both need her get a better sleeping schedule.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Things I don't want to forget
Dearest Ava,
Life goes by so quick and so many things happen day to day that I don't want to forget these little things.
*** You had your eyes open 30 seconds after you were born. You gave us all the one-eye when you were about 30 minutes old. You gave us all quite a laugh.
*** you are two weeks old now and when you are "rooting" for some food I sometimes put you up to my face and let you root on my cheek. I like to pretend you are giving your mama kisses.
*** You make the cutest little squeaky noises when you are napping during the day. Which, by the way, you do too much of during the day and not enough at night. Your mama is trying to break you of that habit but you seem to really like your sleep. Taking after your mom on that aspect.
After you were born I ate more for lunch than I think I had in days put together.
* a cheeseburger
* 4 chicken tenders (which your Aunt Katie and Grandma fed to me while I was being put back together)
* 4 cookies
* 2 ginger ales
* 2 cups of ice chips
* 3 jugs of water
* bag of potato chips
* half a subway sandwich
* Turkey dinner (Poor Andy ordered it for himself and I ended up eating it all)
* dried apricots
The list goes on and on. I was hungry.
*** You had to be taken to the nursery for an x-ray an hour or so after you were born because you were having some trouble with your respiration. You were gone for about 30 minutes. Your dad and I tried not to worry but it was impossible not to. Turns out you just had some fluid left in your lungs and it just needed to be reabsorbed into your body.
*** I love love love your little bow shaped lips and your head full of beautiful brown hair with highlights...
Today was your first visit to the church. Everyone just ooo-ed and aahhed over you. Can you blame em?
You are a good baby, you only cry when you are hungry and then you scream more than you do cry....sometime you even screech.
I love you more than you will ever know Ava. Now I get it, now I get the strength of a mother's love.
I love you mom and am so thankful for you and your love.
Life goes by so quick and so many things happen day to day that I don't want to forget these little things.
*** You had your eyes open 30 seconds after you were born. You gave us all the one-eye when you were about 30 minutes old. You gave us all quite a laugh.
*** you are two weeks old now and when you are "rooting" for some food I sometimes put you up to my face and let you root on my cheek. I like to pretend you are giving your mama kisses.
*** You make the cutest little squeaky noises when you are napping during the day. Which, by the way, you do too much of during the day and not enough at night. Your mama is trying to break you of that habit but you seem to really like your sleep. Taking after your mom on that aspect.
After you were born I ate more for lunch than I think I had in days put together.
* a cheeseburger
* 4 chicken tenders (which your Aunt Katie and Grandma fed to me while I was being put back together)
* 4 cookies
* 2 ginger ales
* 2 cups of ice chips
* 3 jugs of water
* bag of potato chips
* half a subway sandwich
* Turkey dinner (Poor Andy ordered it for himself and I ended up eating it all)
* dried apricots
The list goes on and on. I was hungry.
*** You had to be taken to the nursery for an x-ray an hour or so after you were born because you were having some trouble with your respiration. You were gone for about 30 minutes. Your dad and I tried not to worry but it was impossible not to. Turns out you just had some fluid left in your lungs and it just needed to be reabsorbed into your body.
*** I love love love your little bow shaped lips and your head full of beautiful brown hair with highlights...
Today was your first visit to the church. Everyone just ooo-ed and aahhed over you. Can you blame em?
You are a good baby, you only cry when you are hungry and then you scream more than you do cry....sometime you even screech.
I love you more than you will ever know Ava. Now I get it, now I get the strength of a mother's love.
I love you mom and am so thankful for you and your love.
Friday, October 08, 2010
A day to remember
It was Monday September 27th. We had just finished having dinner with everyone at Outback. Andy and I were driving to Physicians Regional Hospital so I could check in to be induced for labor and I was starting to get nervous. The kind of nerves that I used to get when I was little right before I went on stage for a ballet performance. My body all filled with excitement and wracked with nerves. All eyes were going to be on me. This was MY big moment. This was it.
We checked in and got settled. At about 9 pm they gave me the cervadil which was meant to help soften my cervix and hopefully urge my body to go into labor on it's own. That was not the case. Something in the cervadil was causing the baby's heartbeat to act erratically. They gave me oxygen and told me to lay on my side.
Then the other side, then my back. Nothing seemed to work. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Thankfully 2 1/2 hours later they took it out with the hopes that I would go into labor on my own. If I didn't by 5 am they would start the real stuff and hook me up to the Pitocin.
I really was hoping that I would go into labor on my own. I mean after all, I had been on "bed rest" for the past 5 months because I had a short cervix and could go into pre-term labor. HA! So much for that theory.
By midnight my contractions started to come. They were painful but manageable. Needless to say by 5 am it was obvious I needed a little help, so in went the I.V. of Pitocin.
After that the contractions started to get unbearable. Nothing seemed to help. I just kept waiting for my water to break. For something to happen. Something other that the INTENSE pressure and pain I was feeling.
This didn't help.
By 7 am nothing had happened so the doctor broke my water. What a weird feeling. Katie and Mom had shown up by then and I had Katie, mom and Andy all trying to figure out the best way to keep me comfortable. I can't even express how much that meant to me. I was in crippling pain and just couldn't think by then. The contractions had intensified so much that it was taking everything out of me just to get through them.
Katie brought me ice chips, butterscotch candies, tied my hair back into pony tails or took it out, put chap stick on my lips. She was amazing.
Andy rubbed my back, wiped my face with a cold rag, held my hand and never left my side.
ANd just having my mom there was so important to me, even if she hung out behind the curtain the whole time of the delivery ( I can't blame her though, from the stories I would have too)
From 7am till about noon I was in agony. Not to mention EXHAUSTED. I hadn't slept the night before so I was running on no sleep and no food and I was having contractions about every minute or two apart. It felt like I had no break. At one point I looked at Andy and said I couldn't do it anymore. It was getting to be too much. So I asked to nurse to kindly take the pain away. She had the bright idea to check me to see how far along I was. I was 8 cm. She said, " you're at 8 , you've gone this far. It won't be much longer now" HA!!!! man do they know how to stretch the truth.
Anyway, I took her advice and stuck it out. In retrospect I am glad I did. My delivery was so difficult that I think if I had gotten the epidural me and the baby would have been in big trouble. I had a hard enough time pushing when I could feel something. I probably would have fallen asleep if all of a sudden the pain went away.
I won't go into details about the labor but lets just say that on Ava's hospital records it says that she had a "difficult transition" and mom and Katie had anxiety that night because the images kept replaying in their head. ANdy even had to look away at one point. Ava's shoulders got stuck in my little hips. But aside from all the pain, exhaustion, and momentary concern Ava Virginia Dolwick was born at 1:15pm on Tuesday September 28th.
At some point I will write all the little stories and memories of that day. I will write it for you Ava.
It was the hardest thing I have ever put myself through. I was spent of everything I had but every time I look at this little angel I don't even remember the pain. All I see is love. All I feel is love and joy.
We checked in and got settled. At about 9 pm they gave me the cervadil which was meant to help soften my cervix and hopefully urge my body to go into labor on it's own. That was not the case. Something in the cervadil was causing the baby's heartbeat to act erratically. They gave me oxygen and told me to lay on my side.
Then the other side, then my back. Nothing seemed to work. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Thankfully 2 1/2 hours later they took it out with the hopes that I would go into labor on my own. If I didn't by 5 am they would start the real stuff and hook me up to the Pitocin.
I really was hoping that I would go into labor on my own. I mean after all, I had been on "bed rest" for the past 5 months because I had a short cervix and could go into pre-term labor. HA! So much for that theory.
By midnight my contractions started to come. They were painful but manageable. Needless to say by 5 am it was obvious I needed a little help, so in went the I.V. of Pitocin.
After that the contractions started to get unbearable. Nothing seemed to help. I just kept waiting for my water to break. For something to happen. Something other that the INTENSE pressure and pain I was feeling.
This didn't help.
By 7 am nothing had happened so the doctor broke my water. What a weird feeling. Katie and Mom had shown up by then and I had Katie, mom and Andy all trying to figure out the best way to keep me comfortable. I can't even express how much that meant to me. I was in crippling pain and just couldn't think by then. The contractions had intensified so much that it was taking everything out of me just to get through them.
Katie brought me ice chips, butterscotch candies, tied my hair back into pony tails or took it out, put chap stick on my lips. She was amazing.
Andy rubbed my back, wiped my face with a cold rag, held my hand and never left my side.
ANd just having my mom there was so important to me, even if she hung out behind the curtain the whole time of the delivery ( I can't blame her though, from the stories I would have too)
From 7am till about noon I was in agony. Not to mention EXHAUSTED. I hadn't slept the night before so I was running on no sleep and no food and I was having contractions about every minute or two apart. It felt like I had no break. At one point I looked at Andy and said I couldn't do it anymore. It was getting to be too much. So I asked to nurse to kindly take the pain away. She had the bright idea to check me to see how far along I was. I was 8 cm. She said, " you're at 8 , you've gone this far. It won't be much longer now" HA!!!! man do they know how to stretch the truth.
Anyway, I took her advice and stuck it out. In retrospect I am glad I did. My delivery was so difficult that I think if I had gotten the epidural me and the baby would have been in big trouble. I had a hard enough time pushing when I could feel something. I probably would have fallen asleep if all of a sudden the pain went away.
I won't go into details about the labor but lets just say that on Ava's hospital records it says that she had a "difficult transition" and mom and Katie had anxiety that night because the images kept replaying in their head. ANdy even had to look away at one point. Ava's shoulders got stuck in my little hips. But aside from all the pain, exhaustion, and momentary concern Ava Virginia Dolwick was born at 1:15pm on Tuesday September 28th.
At some point I will write all the little stories and memories of that day. I will write it for you Ava.
It was the hardest thing I have ever put myself through. I was spent of everything I had but every time I look at this little angel I don't even remember the pain. All I see is love. All I feel is love and joy.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
My world has has changed
Dear Ava,
You have changed my world.
You have made me feel something I never thought I would.
I look at you when you are sleeping (which today has been ALL DAY) and my
heart aches. I love you so much I'm not even sure how to describe it.
You are only 1 week and 3 days old and you amaze me everyday.
I am thankful you have come into my world and changed it forever.
You have changed my world.
You have made me feel something I never thought I would.
I look at you when you are sleeping (which today has been ALL DAY) and my
heart aches. I love you so much I'm not even sure how to describe it.
You are only 1 week and 3 days old and you amaze me everyday.
I am thankful you have come into my world and changed it forever.
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